Hello, Goodbye

I warn you. This entry is chock-full of wordy emotion.

Every time I dig to the depths of me, I find Beatles lyrics. Does anyone else experience this, maybe with another artist?
I am emotionally numb right now. That's probably for the best at the moment, though in the long run, I find it comes back to bite you. I've had the time of my life for the past 5 months. I've done everything I've wanted to do and more. People and their fantastic personalities have exceeded my expectations. I have seen sights people will only dream of. And here I am leaving. In less than 24 hours. Anyone who has ever had an experience like this, on whatever level, knows that life, on its most adventurous level, is a cruel paradise.
I am ecstatic to go to Lebanon. To participate first-hand in peacemaking, to understand a culture 100% unlike my own, to wrap myself in colorful scarves and Muslim chants. I am also terrified. I am incredulous at the thought of leaving the vivacious, huggable European exchange students called Erasmus, but I also know it is time for me to get down to business, to return to the people who make up my heart and home, after a brief and sultry (?) escapade in the middle East with crazy people like me. I am torn apart on this roller coaster, but fully capable of putting myself back together again. I am jittery and smiley and my eyes are welling up.

To Erasmus, you have touched my soul. In my blog I speak of the places I have been, but it is YOU, the people, who will be in my hearts forever. I fully intend on putting pictures up of every one of you on my wall next semester, and of bothering you on facebook.
To my home, I hope you haven't changed too much. Being away has made me realize how much I love you. I am not quite ready to come back, but I pray you have endless adventures waiting for me when I do, if I look hard enough.
To my future, though I glance back every now and then, I embrace you fully.

Speaking of that last point:
I leave in 24 hours for Madrid, which will fly me to Budapest, and then on to my Arabic program in Lebanon. Needless to say, six weeks in a Lebanese university studying Arabic is not something females, or 20-year-olds, or caucasian-americans, or westerners, usually do, so i will be continuing my blogging (though less frequently; my focus there will be total immersion in the language, hence less writing in english) for those who wonder how the hell I am, at a to-be-announced URL.

Here's a snippet to get you interested in why I'm going: a portion of the transcript from President Obama's speech to the Muslim world in Cairo, Egypt this June. Call it what you will--naive, gregarious, overly idealistic--but please read it. It explains some of my reasons for doing what I do.

I know there are many - Muslim and non-Muslim - who question whether we can forge this new beginning. Some are eager to stoke the flames of division, and to stand in the way of progress. Some suggest that it isn't worth the effort - that we are fated to disagree, and civilizations are doomed to clash. Many more are simply skeptical that real change can occur.

There is so much fear, so much mistrust. But if we choose to be bound by the past, we will never move forward. And I want to particularly say this to young people of every faith, in every country - you, more than anyone, have the ability to remake this world.

All of us share this world for but a brief moment in time. The question is whether we spend that time focused on what pushes us apart, or whether we commit ourselves to an effort - a sustained effort - to find common ground, to focus on the future we seek for our children, and to respect the dignity of all human beings.